Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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