Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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