Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
