Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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