Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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