I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
