so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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