So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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