Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
