You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
