I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
