I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
