How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
