so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
