This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
