oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
