Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
