why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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