It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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