hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
