I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
