if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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