he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize