just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Randomize
