I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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