The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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