Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
