4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
