If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
