hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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