i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
