I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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