morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
