her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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