Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
