I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
