Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
