Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
