I think im going to throw up on grandma
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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