how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
