Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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