Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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