Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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