We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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