my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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