If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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