Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize