if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
