I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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