gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
