Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you had me at cake vodka
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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