You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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