do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
