just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
