Your mouth is God's brothel.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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