waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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