Welp...herpes.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
