You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize