Do you still have your period?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize