According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
