I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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