if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
