Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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