We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize