3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize