I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
