i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
