i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
