no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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