why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
