HIV tests are more positive than that guy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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