I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize