I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
