The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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