Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Randomize