Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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