Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
