I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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