I can't breathe out the right side of my face
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
