If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
