i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
