He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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