and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize