This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
