Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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