she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Randomize
