i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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