don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
