My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
