Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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