All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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